You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
