Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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