i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
