Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
