When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
organizing the empties. That sober.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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