Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
