is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize