I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize