The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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