She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
