I bet he comes in French.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
