One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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