I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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