So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Randomize
