Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
