I am puke
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
