Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
