Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
