how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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