You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
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