As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
