By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
