Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
