Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
my poor anus
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
