I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
