thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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