Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize