Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
