We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
