i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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