just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
