ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
