So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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