So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
