yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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