arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
