Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
