p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
