you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
