Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
