all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
