Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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