How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
