You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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