i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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