i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Randomize
