Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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