How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
