I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize