I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Is this like a preordered booty call?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize