he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
