I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
