if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
