new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
