So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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