More tranny stories later!
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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