So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
you would pick up someone in the library
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
