You smell like stripper and shame
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
