how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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