opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
