It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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